How to Say Yes to Your Yes

It is okay to do what makes you happy. In fact, I think it's critical.

“Peace in the world begins with your piece of the world, and it spreads out from there.” - Penelope Pendragon, founder of the the Wish Wagon

Look, you can only truly take responsibility for yourself. And if we all step into healthy relationship with ourselves, the ripples outward transform everything around us.

It all begins with your piece of the world.

And as you come into healthy balance with your piece of the world, you inspire others to do the same.

And healthy balance thrives on you saying yes to what delights you.

Yep, I’m gonna say that again- the answer to peace is to do what truly, honestly, purely delights you.

(Listen, if what you or someone you know desire is bad or scary, please find a wonderful therapist and begin to work with the shadow/life experience causing that desire. True desires move you toward or come from well-lit, whole places. Let someone help you notice the difference.)

What delights you offers endless energy and joy to your being. Have you ever been so excited about something you’re working on that you completely lose track of time? Or experienced the delight of someone else when they are sharing about something they deeply love?

That energy is the energy I’m talking about. It’s the little yeses and the big yeses that fuel you and inspire everyone around you.

And those yeses act very much like a scavenger hunt.

One yes will lead you to another yes, which will begin to accumulate into bigger and louder yeses as you continue on the path.

And if you arrive at a no? Easy! Just head away from the no until you hit on another yes. And then- you guessed it! Follow the yes.

What will begin to form is a bit of a roadmap. It will be clear where you’ve come from. Events that happened in the past will start to make sense as you see how they brought you to where you are now. You may begin to feel empowered by the life you’ve lead and your ability to choose where you’re going next.

A key here is to notice how you feel when you are saying yes to what you want.

Ultimately, that sensation is your barometer.

The feeling might be something like expansive, light, bubbling, calm, bright, easeful- something you perceive as pleasant. Where do you feel that sensation?

This is your yes barometer. When you feel that sensation, you’re on the right track.

Also key to note- you have roughly 6 seconds to make a new choice before old patterning slips in and tells you all the reasons not to. So, if you get a yes to doing a yoga class even though you haven't done one in a while, move toward it immediately! If you wait, your brain will quickly start to generate excuses about why you can't, and shouldn't, and then you won't. (More on this to come in a future post.)

SO! Your Week’s Play-

Give yourself a few hours for this one.

Oh! And do this completely alone. Other yeses will cloud yours.

To begin:

• Ask yourself where you’d like to go. Is there a city neighborhood you’ve been curious about? A new part of town? A hike nearby?

• Take a moment to be still and just listen. Do you see a visual? Hear the name of a place? Feel a tug somewhere?

• Follow it.

• If possible, leave your phone somewhere you won’t be notified by it, so you can be completely present.

• Notice what you’re drawn to. Notice what direction calls you. Who do you meet? Do you want to be talking to them? What’s their favorite place nearby? Do you want to go there?

• Create a small 3-hour container of yeses. Experience the scavenger hunt of your yes. Get curious about what your yes feels like in your body. What happens when it compounds? What do multiple yeses feel like?

• Give yourself at least an hour or two to drop into the flow of it. Play until you don’t want to play anymore.

What did you notice? How do you feel afterwards?

I'll always ask this question because our bodies give us so much information in the form of feeling. And new experiences can feel scary or threatening. It's okay if it doesn't immediately feel great. Or if part of you feels good, and part of you feels scared. Just keep noticing.

And keep finding ways to say yes to what genuinely, truly delights you.

A quick note on trauma, therapy, and the nervous system:

Our nervous systems are impacted by trauma. If you are not able to easily discern what you want to say yes to or what your body is communicating, there are so many resources out there to help you! Personally I love and have seen great results with Somatic Experiencing Therapy, Hakomi, and therapists trained in holistic healing. I'm a somatic life coach and help people that have already initially looked at these traumas and are ready to reconnect with their bodies in a new way. Move toward whatever resources feel good to you. Take your time getting to know safety in your body. This is the foundation for reprogramming your experience and choosing your adventure in this human form.